And the adventure continues...

Despite the emotional week this past week, life continues and has been interesting as always. Well, I'm done with my streak of day shift (I'm actually VERY excited about a break in 5:30am alarms!!!) and am starting 10-12 hr nightshifts. Though at home I was tiring of nightshift, a month of days has left me ready for my "native" night shifts!!! Last night the sick little girl I cared for (who could definitely use your prayers!) was fighting pneumonia and all of the breathing equipment, monitor wires, and IV lines that goes with it!!! She could teach crocodiles a thing or two about their death roll (where they grab their prey and then roll continuously in one direction until they've caught and killed it). She's definitely the pro! She slept for about 5minutes at a time and would thrash, pull at equipment and tumble ALL over the bed the rest of the time! Then she would wear out, settle down, cuddle and sleep for about another 5 minutes, then be awake and thrashing again! And she would roll in one direction, wrapping her oxygen and IV lines all around her! And she ends up in the most unusual positions I have ever seen someone sleep in! Despite the busyness and frequent feeling of fighting a wildcat, I enjoyed my time with her immensely! She could use your prayers, though, as she heals from her surgery and recovers from her pneumonia.

It's been a very emotional week and a half and tiring--God's been dealing with me and teaching me some amazing truths that I've known in my head but am learning to apply (I will come back to these); praying through the spiritual warfare and needs of little Hubert and his family; dealing with the emotions of that experience with other staff members; and dealing with some other personal, emotional issues and difficult decisions--I started this week very emotionally drained but spiritually full. Several years ago now, I promised the Lord that He could use me up and pour me out as much as He wanted to as long as I had the assurance that I was doing what He wanted me to do. He reminded me of that yesterday and assured me that in all of it, I had been obedient and pleasing to Him! A very reassuring feeling! I'd had a picture in my mind that showed how I felt--a clay pot that had held water, smashed to smithereens and lying in a puddle of the water that it had contained, surrounded by the flowers that had grown by being watered there! I know that God used me, but I felt so used up and exhausted and unable to do much more than lay in the spot I ended up in! As I was crying with some other nurses as we grieved together, crying for the pain of the family and of the staff members around me, I had the funny picture of becoming a very leaky sieve that was trying in vain to keep from losing all of it's contents!!! Despite the circumstances, I had to laugh at that picture!

A very good friend here on board offered a listening ear and caring shoulder to unload these things on and it helped so much. It had all already been turned over to God but the weariness of it was lifted in talking and praying with her! She reminded me that we are not given others' burdens so that we may carry them but that we can let others' burdens be lifted through us to God. She used the word "conduit" and reminded me of copper wire which is an electrical conduit. The copper wire has electricity zinging along it all the time but is not burnt up. In the same way, we are to allow others' burdens to pass through us to God. He is the One who actually will carry that burden for us. I can not keep it. Thanks so much, Deb! I know I tried, but words can not describe how much I appreciated you taking the time for me! Last night, going back to work after a day off, I felt put back together and ready to go again.

As for the lessons God's been teaching me this week, it all really boils down to seeing and believing that God loves me and how completely His grace gives freedom to live and enjoy my day. My only responsibility--everyone's only responsibility--is to respond to the prompting of God's Holy Spirit, resting in the grace that will cover me if/when I mess up. That's it. Everything else is God's to work and to do. It really is that simply. Not always easy. But always that simple. Even in the disciplines of the christian life, they are mine to do in response to the Holy Spirit's work and prompting in my heart.

He's also been answering some of my questions of dealing with sin--the difference between having sin that seems to constantly be present and sin that is a part of someone's life. The Bible tells us clearly in several places that God is holy and cannot tolerate sin in His presence. He also gives dire warnings for those who choose sin over Him and how He will turn His back on them. So because I keep doing this particular sin, does that mean that I can not be in His presence? Does that mean that He will not listen to or acknowledge me? And how can we, as humans who are never going to be free from our sinful natures until heaven, be right with God and still have these sin natures? The answer is in God's love and our resonse to that love. Just like I learned a few years back about fear--fear is a natural emotion and okay to have. But the moment it can be named as fear, it becomes a sin because we recognize that we are not trusting God's sovereignty and care. As soon as it is apparent as sin, we must humble ourselves and confess it as sin to God, asking His forgiveness. Then, out of His all encompassing love, His grace extends complete forgiveness and the righteousness of Jesus Himself to cover us! Then we're clean in His sight. The tendancy (nature) for sinning is there, but the sin itself that separates us from God is removed and will never be counted against us again! Wow! Now that's truly amazing!

The Blessings of a Sovereign God!

I've been contemplating lately what the blessings of God are. They are not always physical--wealth, good health, prosperity--but they are not always only spiritual either--joy, peace, comfort, etc. The children of Israel were told by God that they would be blessed for obedience and cursed for disobedience. In these stories, the blessings and cursings were more obvious. And God tells us many times throughout the New Testament that "He is a rewarder" of both the good and the bad. But what does this mean for me? What are God's blessings in my life? Can I only count what I perceive as "good things" as blessings and only "bad" things as punishment? Not neccessarily.

That is certainly the case with today's praise. This morning, God allowed little Hubert to escape his suffering body and enter His presence. Though we are all extremely saddened by his death, we are so grateful for God's use of his little short life to bring glory to Himself. As described before, he and his older sister came to us about a month ago. Mom stayed with him, but avoided eye contact with everyone, had little expression and did not smile. She barely held her children and only long enough to do what was neccessary. The father stated that because Hubert was so sickly, he had not yet been claimed by the tribe. Mom said that her little girl was believed to be possessed by demons because she never talked or played whenever mom was around. Much prayer for and with this family has been happening over the last month. But it has just been within the last week that we have seen a change--mom smiling, cuddling her children, playing with them and comforting them. Dad has just started visiting in the last several days and he has been so gentle and loving with Hubert. Both have allowed many people to pray with them. On Friday, we moved little Hubert into ICU (as I described in the previous post). While there, his mom was heard singing a christian song to her children about God's control and love, was seen having her little girl sitting on the bed playing and talking with her, and lovingly tending Hubert. On Sunday, we had to intubate and put him on the ventilator; however, he continued into multi-system failure--his body systems slowly shutting down. Dad walked in, took one look and walked out. This morning, Monday morning, dad came back in, crying over his son, and told the staff that he did not want his son to die this way--that he wanted to hold his son in his arms as he died, not connected to all of these machines. So this morning, barely alive even on the machines, he was placed in his father's arms and the machines removed. Our staff and crew have grieved with the family today. But just seeing the family grieve is a humongous break-through of God's love and how it can change hard hearts into loving ones! So to God be the glory!

Even in loss His blessings are seen! God has taken Hubert home (spiritual blessing), away from his suffering (physical blessing)! God has used Hubert's little and very difficult life to show his family God's love and light and bring them closer to knowing Him as Savior (spiritual and physical blessing)! Because of their softened hearts, Hubert's older sister has a whole new loving relationship with her parents (physical and spiritual blessing)! Through their time here, God has given this family freedom from so many of the lies they were believing in and acting on (spiritual and physical blessing)! This morning, when I was praying for them, before I knew that he had died, God reminded me of the verse from Job: "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!"

God's blessings aren't always obvious and they don't always arrive in the packages you think they will, but they are none the less His blessings. So that in all things we can say, "Blessed be the name of the Lord!" I hope that today you are able to see blessing where before you saw only sadness, loss, or "bad" and be able to say with us, "Blessed be the name of the Lord!"

Hevie Agricultural Training Center...

Short note tonight (relatively!) ... A group of about 20-some people went out to sand, plaster, paint, and clean at the center! As far as I know, we got all but a few high parts sanded, some of the small cracks plastered, and most of the walls have at least one coat of white wash on them! The men were also able to finish the roof today and started planting the grass in the botanical garden area! We had a lot of fun but were all exhausted and glad to get back to the ship and get our showers! With all of the dust from sanding, we joked that the white people present REALLY were white! I had sand, dust, and white-wash all through my clothes and my hair by the end of the day! It felt soooo good to do manual labor and get really dirty but it also felt great to be clean again! And it was wonderful and relaxing to be in the bush again--so beautiful! Playing around with the white-wash, some of the others marked themselves with "tribal markings" that we've seen on most of our patients' faces in the form of a variety of scratch-mark scars, showing which tribe they're from! Also, two other girls and myself got to climb the water tower nearby (about 15 ft) and take pictures of the surrounding views--sooo beautiful!!! That and I've always wanted to climb a water tower!!! (Come on! You can't say that you've never looked at a water tower and thought: "Hhmm...I wonder...."!)

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST: We have a little 9 month old boy, Hubert, that is enrolled in our feeding program to gain wait for his second surgery. His cleft lip has already been repaired and has healed very nicely--you can hardly tell he ever had it. However, before the doctor can operate on his cleft palate, he needs to gain a lot of weight. He has been growing like crazy over the past few weeks, putting on weight, filling out...he hardly looks like the same little boy! But towards the middle of last week, he started running a high fever that refused to come down and developed a bad rash that covered him head to toe within 2-3 days. His heartrate and respirations are very, very high and he is currently fighting for his life. Because he was born out in his village and not in a hospital, he has not been immunized against anything. His family is voodoo and there is definitely a spiritual war going on around them and, though I do not believe that that is the main cause of his illness, they could definitely use your prayers. They have been very open to us praying with them. His father told us that because he has been so sick they have not yet marked him as being from their tribe--they weren't sure if they wanted to claim him yet. His mother was, for a long while, not very attached to him (I believe that she expected him to die and did not want to get too attached and then lose him). But she has been so good with him and seems to be bonding well with him over the last week or so, and his father is extremely gently and loving with him. They have a 3 yr old daughter staying at the hospital with her mom and baby brother and she is just tooooo cuuuute! And such a cuddle-bug! VERY adorable! Hubert has been moved into isolation in ICU where we can readily intubate if we need to and can keep others from possibly getting what he has, if it's contagious. Though his oxygen level dropped a few times last night and they had to do bag breathing for him, his fever finally came down and his rash seems to be disappearing. But he still has a long way to go! Please be in prayer for the healing of little Hubert and that the hearts of his parents will be turned to the Lord through this!

ANOTHER PRAYER REQUEST: Our other feeding program baby, Anicette (4 months), is also awaiting surgery to repair her cleft lip and palate but we cannot do so until she grows some. However, she has not grown in the month that she and her mom have been with him. Mom is a young, new mom and still needs lots of prompting and teaching with much of her care and feeding, but is starting to catch on. She acts almost like the young teen moms in the United States. Anicette has developed issues with her liver without apparent cause and, as I said, has not grown at all. We are referring her to a local pediatrician Monday for evaluation of her liver and what might be going on with her there. Then she and her mom will return to the Mercy Ships Hospitality Center after that to continue the feeding program. Her mom has come a long way in her learning of Anicette's care and in her knowledge of the Lord. Please pray for her as this is very frightening and frustrating for her, and please pray that whatever is going on with Anicette will be found and be able to be corrected!

Thank you! I appreciate so much knowing that I have such tremendous prayer support at home to cover these precious children and their families with prayer! May God have the glory for everything that happens with them! And may He bless you for participating in the care of His littlest ones!

A trip to the bush (country)...

Though the rest of my weekend was uneventful, I was grateful to have Monday and Tuesday off. Monday was just a day for sleeping in, relaxing, spending some time with the Lord and praying, , and then going to be early. :0P A very good kind of day!

Tuesday, I decided to join a group from the ship on an inland ministry, sanding and painting an agricultural training center in Hevie (pronounce " Ha-vee' "). For generations, the Benninese have grown just the same few crops. They did not think the land would grow other things because "if the ground would grow it, my father and his father before him and his before him [etc] would have been growing it from the beginning." However, a long-term crew member from Congo has been working with several men to grow all manner of vegetables and plants in their garden at the center. The dormatory is in the building stages and will be a small but beautiful school for training in agriculture. Each of the rooms will house three men, each room with its own bathroom. The center of the building is divided into two large areas--the first from the front door is a classroom; the second, by the back door, will be filled with flowers! It will be beautiful! The front of the building has a large curving portico with large pillars. Most of the windows are slatted and can be opened for ventilation. Around the top, however, there are cement blocks in scrolled patterns that allow constant airflow through the building without letting the rain in. The whole building has a corrugated tin roof over most of it but is open over the garden area, letting in a lot of natural light and rain. The actual garden plots for the center, where the men have been working, are further down the road.

There are only three slots open for helping with painting and cleaning each day, all day, Monday through Friday. I signed up to go and, forgetting about African time, met another nurse outside Tuesday morning, ready to go on time at 8:45am. We didn't actually leave until around 9:30am and then had to stop at several hardware stores to pick up supplies on our way out to the site. The hardware stores were generally a shed-sized shack with buckets, pipe connectors, paint rollers, and other odds-and-ends hanging from the porch roof; piles of small tree trunks--no bigger than poles--and loops of wrought iron (laid in large u-shaped loops and somewhat flexible) sitting out front. We had to stop at about 3-4 before we found one selling paint brushes!

Well, when we finally got to the site, it was just my friend and I--the only white women--working with about 15 nationals! We ended up working with the painter who only spoke French--both of us girls are able to speak Spanish fairly well but neither of us can speak more than two words of French! So through hand motions and one or two words of French and English, we were assigned the job of sanding the outside cement wall with power sanders and a generator, and scraping out the extra globs of cement from the scroll work of the upper windows. The painter would then come along behind us and seal all of the cracks with a mixture of paint and white lime--making a plaster similar to dry wall plaster. Then we'd come back and sand over those patches once they were dry. However, being on an African work site, we had to completely finish one section before moving to another. Therefore, we would sand, he would seal, we would wait for it to dry, then we would sand, then we could move to the next section. There was no typical American efficiency of working on sanding the next area while we were waiting for the last one to be sealed and dry! But then our painter had to leave with our translator/driver and was gone most of the afternoon, so we were able to finish sanding most of the wall for him before he got back! ;0P Another man, who spoke a few words of English, came to work with us in the afternoon (so that their guests would not be lonely left by themselves!). He was painting the windows we had cleaned out so we could not move the scaffolding down to the last section until he was done. And by then it was time to leave but we did complete most of the wall and had a lot of fun doing it!

The men we worked with thought it was so funny that we would come to work with them without knowing any French but they seemed to show us quite a bit of respect for doing the work alongside of them. They also were eager to discuss American music and movies with us. In their broken and heavily accented English, it was sometimes very difficult to tell what they were saying but, working together, us girls would figure it out! One in particular, Alba, really liked Arnold Schwartzanegger and many music artists, such as J-Lo, em&em, and many others I don't remember. He was very surprised and disappointed that I didn't know their songs and very, very disappointed that I didn't cry when Michael Jackson died! Alba knew a little bit more English than most of the others so he explained that he used to dance to Michael Jackson's songs when he was little and that he was very sad that Michael had died!

We shared the noon meal with them--chicken stewed with peppers over rice. It was delicious but a little bit spicy-hot so I drank quite a bit of water with the meal. By mid-afternoon, my bladder was sending my brain urgent signals; however, we had noticed throughout the morning that the men would just go a short ways into the bush to relieve themselves. It then became a discussion over the next two hours between my friend and I as to what could be done. No one spoke English well enough to ask. Two white women heading out amongst mid-level low brush would be a lot more conspicuous than a black man out in the brush. Just being women made it more complicated than the men. Many of the men were up on scaffolding or on the roof so the view would be even more clear. The ladies who had served us lunch were no where around to even attempt to communicate with. So ... what to do.... . Well, our new friend Alba said that we could climb the water tower to take pictures--from about 15 feet in the air, it offered a beautiful view of the surrounding fields and the building site! Walking back from there along the path through thicker brush, we got the idea to try to send our friend on back to work and we would come back in a little bit. The downside is he had no idea what we were trying to say or what we needed to do! The upside was is was hysterical trying!!! Alas, soon after getting back to the work site the painter and our driver came back, telling us that we would be leaving in about 10 minutes. He offered to take us over to the gardens and we readily agreed. We did finally get to ask about a bathroom (it's now about 4:30pm!) and he said that there was a "place you can use near there." It ended up being a nice three-hole, stand on the blocks and squat to pee outhouse with walls! My friend found that this was too much for her and stated that she didn't have to go that bad, she could wait until we got back to the ship. I, on the other hand, didn't have much choice! Ah, relief!

The gardens were beautiful! They were planting lettuce and put sections of palm branches into the ground behind each plant to help shade it from too much sun. They also had tomatoes, corn, and many other plants. Their corn was really, really tall, ready to harvest. All in all, it was very fun and so nice to be away from the ship and the city, out in the country, breathing fresh air and just seeing lots and lots of green around us! After this experience, I have to agree with my brother, Zeke: "I'd rather be in the middle of nowhere than downtown anywhere!"

I'm off this weekend and am planning to head back out to Hevie for the workday Saturday. There's a group of about 20 people going out that day in a push to get it done for the grand opening August 31st. I put a few pictures from Hevie on the slideshow and I will add a few more when they're available. I also added pictures of our cabin and some that another crew member took while out at the "stick village"--a village on stilts over the water. The people there don't like us coming through all the time, so I probably won't go there unless we have a specific outreach there. But I did want to show you the pictures so that you can see a little bit of how they live.

Well, enough of my adventures for now. Talk to you later!

Too-Cute Little Girls, Head Colds, and Washing off a Ship,...

Some adventures that come, you never would have guessed in a million years that you would be doing! For instance, I didn't expect to ever be in Africa, yet here I am. And I would never have expected I would live on a ship, yet here I am. And I never would have thought in a million years that I'd be trying to wash off a ship, yet there I was!

Thursday turned insane about 9:30am to 2pm! I had 5 patients, 4 of whom were being discharged. The eye patient and 3 of the 4 hernia repair patients were going home. One hernia patient was staying. Things were going smoothly and then I don't know what happened but I can hardly tell you how I spent the time between 9:30am and 2pm!!! Well, I managed to get all but one of my hernia patients to the group teaching on discharge instructions and care. The one that did not go, I went over everything with him twice--he apparently forgot everything we went over an hour ago!!! Meanwhile, my eye patient was ready to leave but kept insisting that he did not get the medication he needed at home. I ended up giving him a packet of Tylenol should he need it for pain. However, he continued to insist that he was missing a medication and could not leave yet. When I asked what he thought he was missing, he stated that it was a medicine for his blood. At first I wasn't sure what he was refering to until I realized that he had heard me teaching another patient (who had a history of a stroke) about his Aspirin regimen and thought that everybody needed it. After explaining that to him, he agreed that he was ready to leave! Because of the insanity, I asked another nurse to put together 4 take home packets for my hernia patients (the instructions in French for care and restrictions, bar of soap, a few extra guaze just in case, multivitamins, iron suppliment, and Ibuprofen for pain). She readily agreed and had them ready to go in no time. So I got their money out of the safe and added that and their follow-up appointment card to their bags, finished teaching them about the meds via a translator, and went around handing them their bag to take with them. As I was handing out the last bag, I realized the patient still had an IV infusing. It took me a minute, but my foggy brain finally realized that he had an IV going because he had not yet had surgery!!! I was trying to discharge a patient who was having his surgery later that day!!! Well, he was well prepared for his discharge the next day!!!

Friday was a bit crazy, as well, as we were trying to discharge about 5 patients by lunch time (I'll explain later about the African mindset on time!) and moving our last three patients on B ward down to D ward for the weekend. After completing all of that, another nurse and I and two disciplers took several patients up on deck 7 for some fresh air. While the adults did a devotional time with the disciplers, we got to play with the three little girls from the ward. Two are about 10-12 yr and the third is the older sister of one of our babies--she's about 3yr. I finally learned to count to 3 in French, so we used the seams in the metal floor as start and finish lines for our bike/scooter/John Deer tractor races! I had the youngest girl alternately on the push bike and John Deer and then just running. Her adorable smile split her face and her brown eyes wide and sparkling--she always has a look of mischeif in her eyes!!! She was sooo cute!!! After we'd worn her down a bit, I sat playing with her, tickling her...I'd look out of the corner of my eye at her and wiggle my finger for her to come over here and she would exagerate the movements as she mimicked me back! She would turn her head way to the side and tilt it towards me while looking out of the corner of her eye, then pump her little arms, one over the other towards herself, motioning me to come or waving fists for a fight... I'm not sure which!!! It was just too cute!!! She also chattered away the whole time though I have no idea what she was saying!

Then came the washing the ship part. Warning! If you are easily grossed out, please skip this section and continue reading with the next paragraph!!! When our time out on deck was finished, the other nurse and one of the disciplers started back downstairs with everyone, but one of the patients suddenly felt sick and was quickly motioned over to the side of the ship where he promptly lost everything he had had in him! One of the long-term ladies was close by the door and came to help us. I sent the second discipler for a pan from the hospital so that we could make if "safely" back downstairs. However, the wind was blowing lightly and umm...let's just say it didn't make it all the way down (about 3-4 stories) to the water. I was really hoping that since we were having a ship's holiday (I'll explain that later), nobody would be in their cabins on that side and especially no one gazing out their portholes just at that moment!!! Well, his stomach settled some, the discipler came back with a pan, and the other nurse came back up to check on us and agreed to take him back down for me. I, however, had to somehow rinse off the side of the ship. Though there are normally engineers and deck hands around deck 7 during the day to ask for help from, because of the holiday,no one seemed to be around that day. There was a rolled up hose under the stairs so I started unrolling that but the spigot I needed to connect it to was already connected to a pipe going up the side to the pool area of deck 8. As I was contemplating how important the pipe and connection was and whether or not I could disconnect it to hook up the hose, one of the long-term men came down from deck 8 and readily connected the hose for me! So with my now-connected hose, I leaned over the railing, aimed the nozel and waited for the stream of water to pick up pressure...but it stayed at about 1/2 the strength of an average garden hose and nozel! I did alright rinsing off the railing in front of me and the side of the two decks directly below me but the wind was blowing and it was proving difficult to get the rest. Leaning out and lowering the hose about 3-4 feet, trying to aim it in the generally right direction while trying to guess how far over the wind would take it, I started giggling at the whole situation and really hoping that no one in the cabins was suffering from the unusual show!!! Since the wind wasn't helping me too much, I prayed that God would change the direction of the wind so that no one would suffer having that on or near their window and the deck hands would not have to go down on Monday to scrub it off! And He did--He turned the wind just enough to finish rinsing everything off the side of the ship! And THAT is how I washed a ship!!!

Today ended up being a little busier as I was able to discharge 2 more patients; however, I've been fighting a head cold for the last few days and was feeling really foggy-brained with a voice about 2 octaves lower than my usual and a constantly running nose. About lunch-time the charge nurse graciously excused me from the rest of my shift (a 12-hour today and tomarrow) and let me go "home"! I'm feeling a little better this evening but am hoping it's done soon! Everyone here has been passing around two versions of it for a while now--head cold and stomach bug. I'm happy just to have the head cold!

Okay...the African mindset on time...my grandmother was a missionary in Nairobi, Kenya for several years and explained that Africans have a very "now" kind of mindset--there is not much planning for the future or thought to what has already been done previously, as we in the western cultures are used to. We have our calendars and day planners filled with meetings, get-togethers, events, projects, etc. The Africans, being concerned with the now, do not plan more than a day or two in advance and have trouble understanding a list of instructions. To tell my patient that first I will take out their IV, then they they can get dressed, then they can use the phone to call family,... they will then get out of bed and call family. They tend to do whatever was last on the list and forget about the first two. There is also no concept of waiting or taking turns. However, they will share everything, no matter how little they have or how badly they need or want it. The book I talked about in an earlier blog, "Foreign to Familiar", explains that African culture is all about community--dependence on the group is encouraged, personal rights are readily given up in favor of the group's needs or desires, and you do not want to be rude to anyone (you do not want them to feel lonely or left out, so you greet everyone, you don't leave them by themself, and everyone is included in every conversation). They also do not want to disappoint anyone, especially a guest, so they will answer "yes" even if the answer is really "no". That is one thing about working through a translator that makes it nice--they will more readily answer "no" to another national than they would to me, a guest, because they do not want to disappoint me, so I get a clearer answer to my nursing questions! And because everyone is part of the conversation, you sometimes have confusion as with the man who thought that he needed the medicine for his blood before he could go home. They are also very "event oriented." We in the western culture are very conscientious of time and when given a time, try to arrive promptly or early because being late is rude to the other people involved. Here in Africa, the time given for an event is when they start to get ready for the event--getting dressed, packing, eating, etc. And that is where you hear about being on "African time!" And with the "now" and "event" mindset, trying to discharge several people at the same time gets very confusing. Each one wants to frequently remind you of what they still need before they go and each one wants it as soon as possible! You can imagine how confusing that gets! For instance, when discharging those 5 patients on Friday morning, two men requested a paper for their bosses saying that they couldn't work this week because of their surgeries. They will get an official letter at their one week follow-up appointment but needed something for this week. Well then, four of the five decided that they all needed that, as well, and frequently reminded the translator, the other nurse and myself of that need! But then, even though they were all ready to leave by 10:30am, they decided to stay and eat lunch then leave! So they sat around watching the movie that was playing and left right after lunch! I find it easiest to do everything one patient at a time and then to do or explain one task at a time. That way I know who I've already told what, they have everything they need and are ready to go, one at a time and it doesn't turn into another Thursday morning!!!

As for observing ship's holidays, becuase we are not all from the same culture or country, there are no public holidays to celebrate except for Christmas and Easter so we have ship's holidays--or a long weekend off every 6 weeks throughout the year--to give everyone a break. And this weekend is one of them. A large group of people went out Friday and come back today or tomarrow from camping on the beach! Others scatter to do all different sorts of shopping or site-seeing or just relax on-board.

So now that I've caught you up on the adventures of the last few days, I think I will go get my laundry and head back to bed! Enjoy whatever adventures God may send you today and don't forget to thank Him His little surprises!

Busy shift....

Most of this morning was busy without being overwhelming, but around lunch time it started getting closer to "if only I had 3 or 4 extra hands" kind of time! By lunch time, I was needing to do vital signs on a post-op little boy, discharge a woman and do another set of vital signs on her, admit and prepare a man for surgery, and actually take another over to surgery--all in about 30-45 minutes! Thank the Lord that the process is much simpler here than at home and for nurses who are always willing to help out! But it did get done and the patients are all doing well. I think 11 of our 20 patients were here for a hernia repair, which tends to be a faster surgery so that keeps the pace on the ward moving along pretty good!

We were able to take many of our patients up to deck 7 for fresh air. Our two little boys were really disappointed that, because of their recent surgeries, they weren't allowed to ride the bikes. :0( We kept catching them sneaking over to the bikes. However, everyone got a big kick out of a man in one of the fishing boats stopping to wash himself before going into port...right in front of our ship! He seemed to get a big laugh out of it, too, when he saw us all waving but did get dressed pretty quickly! Yeah, ...one more sight you most likely will not see at home...I hope! Well, off to relax and do something mind-numbing for a little while...have a good day!

Craft market, Cloth market, and Cray Zimmy-Jeans .....

Yes, travel anywhere in the city is crazy with Zimmy-Jeans (pronounced "Zimmy-Johns") or motorcycle taxis EVERYWHERE!!! Even compared to where I've been around the Dominican Republic, the zimmy-jeans here are truly crazy! Zipping in and out and around everybody and everything. Horns blairing from all over (I'll go into the language of the horn in a later post!). Cotonou is a much busier city than I had thought, especially along the main highways. Last Saturday I went with a group of friends to the craft market, about 15 minute drive from the ship. I expected it to be like the tourist market places like I've seen elsewhere--small stands lined up down either side of the street. But this is a permanent craft market and is spread between several large orange-ish/pink colored block buildings with palm thatched roofs for appearance. Some of these buildings were long with small shops down both sides of it, each displaying their variety of wares out front, as well as in on their shelves. Others were irregularly shaped roundish buildings with 3-4 shops in each so that you walked around the outside, entering any shops you were interested in. And, of course, every shopkeeper is zealously begging you to come see what they are selling. When they find out that you are from Mercy Ships, they start pitching, "You are from Mercy Ships, yes? Oh, Yes! Very good! For you we have special price! Very good! Very cheap!"...though generally they ARE special prices. Special high prices! I didn't really go to buy this time so my friend and I simply told them all, "We are just looking. We have no money to buy today. But we will come back later." That seemed to satisfy them. Some shops we didn't enter as there was a very dark feeling over the whole shop and they appeared to have mainly voodoo masks and dolls. However, most of the shops were very nice and had amazing carvings or quilts or jewelry for sale. One set of amazing chairs and table I found were very large and each carved out of only one piece of wood each. They had lions as the legs and armrests with a tree as the back of the chair. The table had outward facing lions that the table rested on. It reminded me of something that would be Aslan's throne--the Lion of Judah and the Tree of Life--from the Chronicles of Narnia!!! The salesman kept insisting that I could take them home with me on the plane... I have my doubts!!! Several of the shopkeepers allowed me to take pictures of their wares or shops. I know I keep saying this, but I AM working on figuring out a way to get a picture slideshow up on my blog. Hopefully in the next day or so. It's been a bit of a frustrating weekend trying to get them up! Back to the markets....this morning I walked with several nursing friends into the downtown markets (more like what I'm used to seeing but a little more jumbled and busy! Of course, the zimmy-jeans are still whizzing through all over, people carrying a large bowl, pan, basket, or cushion of wares on their heads to sell. I did not take any pictures there as it is too close quarters and I don't want to risk having my camera stolen. I tried to be subtle but it was just to close-quartered with everyone. Maybe another day. There is a walking bridge over the highway. There are beggars and venders up there as well, but as you look over the market on both sides of the highway, it appears to be a pile of rusty, corrugated tin interspersed with people! We went to the cloth venders looking for material for two local tailor/seamstress to make things for us. I found a beautiful storm blue, pale yellow, cream color, and gold swirly patterned material to make into a sundress and scarf. Depending on how much extra I have left over, I might make something else as well. I was able to get 6 yards for about $10 (US) or 5,000 CFA. The currency here are called CFA (pronounce "See-fah") and I didn't have very much with me. I will definitely be going back there another time and buy more then! Several venders said that they only sell material in 12 yard pieces! I'm not a big shopper but I loved it today! And looking at the women's dress styles worn around here gave me lots of good ideas for what to have made! The tailor, I'm told, is very good--he measures very carefully, has really good taste as to what will look good on each person, and does exceptional work. The seamstress is also very good and can make a variety of other things for you, as well, such as bags. Yes, the shopping here was definitely a grand adventure!

As for using some of my other time off, I've been reading a book called "The Discipline of Grace" by Jerry Bridges. I know I've not had a very good understanding of God's grace or of how much He loves me. I tend to have what Bridges describes as the "good-day, bad-day" outlook. I tend to feel closer to God on what I feel has been a good day and farther from God, or maybe even that God is upset with me, if I've messed up and had what I feel is a bad day. However, just like with salvation, God's forgiveness and presence is not based on my works--it's soley in God's grace and out of His love. And out of this love and grace, He allows us to walk freely, confidently without fear that He will leave us or push us away. His forgiveness is just that...because Jesus lived a perfect life of obedience to God (fulfilling the life of the law or God's standards of living) and died on the cross (paying the penalty for not keeping God's standards on my behalf), I have full and complete forgiveness of my sins before God. He no longer counts any of them. And that forgiveness goes for any recent sins, as well. There's no "making up for it" by being extra diligent or busy or continuing to feel guilty and pushing Him away because He couldn't possibly want me around so soon after messing up. All I need to do is simply accept that the price is paid--by all means, confessing them to God (or telling Him that I know it was wrong and He was right)--but once I've asked confessed and asked His forgiveness, it's okay again. There's nothing else to do about it, no continuing to feel guilty, no trying to make up for the bad, no trying to hide from Him because I don't feel He would want me around after that,.....No! It's covered. It's done. Nothing more is needed! Truly, our God's love is overwhelming and His grace beyond amazing! I've been working on keeping this mindset, retraining my brain to see my sin and forgiveness God's way, and it's amazing the freedom that knowledge of complete forgiveness gives! Our God is truly great!

Well, I start a week and weekend of dayshift--7am - 3pm Wed thru Fri and 7am - 7pm over the weekend. I am actually looking forward to my 12 hour shifts! I enjoy working here a lot and because we're still slow (though our main surgeon came back from vacation this week, I don't think he's working again until next week) we've had a lot of time to interact with the translators and patients. Monday when I worked, the translators had an Uno! marathon going (Augustine won 4/5 times!!!) and several different Jenga games going. It was a lot of fun! I'm feeling a little more adjusted though still frequently feel detatched from any real ministry in Africa. I was talking with another nurse from South Africa who has been here for about 6 months and is heading home, sharing what I'm feeling with her. We've both heard that from a lot of people. The beautiful thing about this trip is that the ministry is somewhat up to you--you decide what you're going to do while you're here--but it also allows you to step back, have lots of time to sit and talk with God and have Him teach you. And though the Christian atmosphere isn't as forward as we thought it would be, there are so many good resources available--the library, bible studies, churches, land ministries, etc. So all in all, no it's not what I expected but it's very good for where I'm at right now. Well, this is turning into an entire volume, so I will say "good night" ---for most of you, it will be "good afternoon." :oP

Day-to-Day...

I wanted to give you an idea of my typical work day. Though what shift I work changes from week to week, I'll give you the general idea of what my day is like. First, our cabin has no windows so it is always dark and makes sleeping very comfortable and a little too easy! :0P This week I've been on evening shift so I've been staying up later and sleeping in until mid-morning...a great luxury to me!!! However, my roommate's been working nights so that she sleeps during the day. Trying not to wake her up with my not-so-graceful descents from the upper bunk, I grab my stack of clothes for the day and head into the bathroom. Once ready, I head upstairs to one of the lounges for a devotional time. After that, it's usually time for lunch, so I head into the dining room and join friends for lunch. Our head cook tries really hard to incorporate meals from all over the globe and he does a wonderful job! We've had mexican, african, italian, ...last night we had hamburgers and french fries!!! It's all really good! And lots of fruits and vegies, too! And bread, always bread!!! (For those who know me, bread is not just another food...it is a main staple!!!) From there I have some time to check my email, blog, facebook, etc., run errands, read, and anything else I need to do. Then, a little before 2pm, wearing Mercy Ships scrubs, I start my walk down our deck, through the door to the hospital, and begin checking in each ward to see where I am working for that day. For the most part, I've been working in D Ward or the ENT (Ears, Nose, Throat) ward this week. We've decided that that stands for "Everything Near Thoracic" since one of our current surgeons tackles just about anything. However, we are largely the pediatric ward, as well. So, as you can imagine, I'm loving it! So at change of shift, we pray together then have verbal hand-off from previous shifts. There is a time with both shifts present that some of us take any patients who are able to deck 7 to spend some time outside. After a time, we head back down to the ward and begin taking vital signs, checking charts for new orders, doing treatments, and giving meds. When an admission comes, the patient will first see the admissions nurse, then the doctor, then report will be passed to our charge nurse and she will handoff report to us. At that time we do any pre-op testing or teaching that needs to be done, including making sure that they're hydrated for the surgery. We also receive back patients from post-op and continue monitoring them and medicating for pain. The translators are very helpful in entertaining young patients, questioning our patients, and handing out the patient dinners. If there's nothing going on, they also pick up the guitar and start singing--a beautiful concert for free! The disciplers also come through, doing a brief bible lesson and singing and dancing, visiting with patients. By later evening, things are quieting down and we're wrapping up our treatments, charting, and medication passes. By 9:30, the night shifts arrive, we all pray together, then have verbal handoff. Generally after work, I change and head down to deck 2 to the gym (watch out Shari!!!) for awhile before showering and heading to bed. We do have time to run up for a half hr dinner break during work and of course, there's breakfast in the morning when I get up for it! And that's my day! And speaking of day, it is time to head off to work before my weekend off! Hope your day is as enjoyable as mine!

Amazing....

Wow! It's been a very good first few days of work. It gets crazy at times but I love it! I've had all ages of patients, some pre-op, some post-op, some needing better nutrition before they can have surgery, ... but each of them touches you differently. The smiliest girl on the ward has a huge hole through her lip and pallet (roof of her mouth) and another boy's favorite toy is the brightly painted wooden train --we were joking around that he would probably try to sleep with it if he could! Another man says that he feels like an elephant with the feeding tube in his nose! The baby next to him, he says, sounds like a crocodile when he cries! The way they tie their babies on their backs to carry them makes them look like they are falling sometimes, especially one little boy who leans way over to the side so that he can see around mom. But I haven't seen one fall yet! On the contrary, if a mom has trouble quieting the baby, she ties him onto her back and walks or dances around, sometimes I'll see one leaning forward over the bed, the baby now able to lie flat on her back for awhile until he is sleeping sound enough that she can lay him on the bed. Also, caregivers that are staying overnight with the patient, sleep on mattresses under the bed. One poor mom had been up for two days with an 11 mo and 17 mo old babies, both still nursing. When one would fall asleep, the other would wake up screaming. Finally, the day I worked, things finally quieted down in that corner--we saw mom asleep on the mattress under the bed, the younger child alseep on the bed and the older child asleep, sprawled on the floor next to the bed! It was so cute! We did put the older child up onto the bed once we knew she was sleeping good, though! If you want to see pictures of the patients and hear their stories, you can find them on the Mercy Ships website (posted on the right side of this page). I have this weekend off so I'm planning to work on getting pictures on here if I can. I also plan to go to the craft market that day, so maybe I'll have pictures of that, as well. For Sunday, one of the translators invited us to come to his church, so another nurse and I and any others we can get are planning to go. Should be exciting--the languages are French and Fon, which neither of us speak but our friend said that he would translate it for us. One of our translators plays the guitar beautifully so when we don't need him, he sits and plays and sings worship music! It's like a free concert whenever he's working! Well, it's late here so I need to get going...talk to you later! Hope all is well with you and yours!

PRAYER REQUEST: Friends of mine in Nairobi, Kenya work for AIM Air. Just this week, a plane went down, killing the pilot and severely wounding the mechanic. The other two in the plane have more minor physical injuries. The pilot's wife and four kids are in Nairobi with family from both sides trying to arrange transportation and all their official documents needed to come over for his memorial/funeral service. The mechanic was going in for skin grafts for his severe burns and might have to be shipped to another country for other treatment. His wife has been staying with him at the hospital but they also have kids. AIM Air has also asked an outside investigator to come in and evaluate the crash, all other pilots and planes are grounded for now, and the Kenyan authorities are also conducting their investigation. My friend works in the mechanical field and asks for prayer for the families of the pilot, mechanic, and other passengers and their families, and that the investigations will go smoothly, having all the records they need and paperwork in order so that the answers can be found. Thank you!

First Day of Work....

Yes, today was my first day in the hospital and it was a good one! I got to play with babies all day! When doesn't that make it a good day?!?! I am catching on to the paperwork and routines on the ward and even had time to pop into ICU and visit a short while, seeing their paperwork, responsibilities, equipment, and patient. The vents here are older than what is typically seen in Western hospitals but the nurses make the adjustments and do all of the care and treatments with the ventilated patient. In Western hospitals (particularly mine ;0P ) there are respiratory therapists and pulmonologists to do vent adjustments and treatments. Also, the nurses are responsible to draw any labs ordered. The census is lower right now, in part because one of our main surgeons is on vacation. I am told we will be much busier once he returns. I'm looking forward to that. It's a little odd for me to have all of my patients, of varying ages, all in the same room, without curtains or dividers, and them not minding it at all! Their lives revolve around community and sharing and it would be rude not to include others in the room in what they are doing or talking about. I've still got so much to learn when it comes to relating my patients but have worked with some very encouraging people!

So many emotions come with the adjustments to life here and it takes so much concentration at first to move between relating to and teaching patients, talking with the translators, and learning the processes here that I feel very drained and tired. But I'm told that within a few weeks, it will all be second nature! I look forward to that! The staff here have all been very helpful and I'm so grateful. Though I feel stupid and slow, no one has ever made me feel that they believe it true! On the contrary, most tell me that that is very normal and that they all felt the same way when they were starting here. So I oriented to dayshift today (7am - 3pm) ...will orient to evening shift tomarrow (2pm - 10pm) ...then work evening shift for the rest of the week.

Today I got to watch a large ship being led out of the port! It was fascinating! First, this large lumbering giant of a ship had to wade out backwards out of it's place. However, I'm told that large ships are extremely hard to control when going backwards (I can only imagine!), so one tug boat swings by and picks up a line off the bow (front) of the ship and another tug picks up a line off the opposite side of the stern (back) and they start a precise pattern of pulling first the stern of the ship out, away from the dock and the ship behind it, then guide it back as the props propel it slowly backwards. The tug at the bow keeps enough tension to keep the ship from turning too far until the exact moment the stern tug stops pulling it around. At that exact moment, the bow tug starts turning the bow of the ship towards the mouth of the port and the stern tug keeps enough tension so that it turns properly. Then, with loud horns, they signal the ship that they are dropping the bow and stern lines and backing away. The smaller pilot boat then slips out in front to lead it out to sea, navigating their familiar port and bay to get the ship out and safely on its way. Right after leading that cargo ship out, another larger ship started making its way in, led by the pilot boat. I was not able to stay and watch the entire process of it coming in, but saw it go from a toy ship far out to sea to a very large, blue and white monster edging around the dock into port! I'm really liking life aboard ship so far!

God is so good in the adventures He sends, and His mercy and love give me the confidence I need to feel foolish and still continue to work at things until I've learned them! He's really been pressing on me that He not just loves me ("He has to do that! He's God! And God is love!") but that He actually likes me, even when I don't like myself, and offers me His grace out of a heart full of love so that nothing will come between us! Wow! Isn't our God amazing?!?!

Well, it's been a long day and I have laundry waiting in the dryer and I'm sure someone waiting for that machine, so I need to go. May you see God's heart for you this week! I will pray you do!

A multi-cultural church service

I'm afraid I don't have much time left to write tonight but I did want to tell you about the church service this morning. It was great! Our driver and interpreter, Jean-Claude, and his wife helped found a church on the edge of Cotonou, almost to the Nigerian border, 20 min. car ride from the ship. It has grown from a membership of about 15 children to over 100 men, women, and children. He said that the children would go home and tell their families all about what they were learning until their whole family would be coming to church regularly and come to know the Lord! Jean-Claude and his wife, originally of Congo, left after one year to continue travelling with Mercy Ships, but the other couple stayed on to pastor the church. The children are still largely involved with the church but their parents are getting more involved themselves now.

We started out with music--drums, gourds with bead netting over them, a piece of old pipe hit with a stick, and tin plates with rings clipped all around the edge to make a type of tambourine. And dancing--you could tell by their faces that it was more than just a movement but their own worship and praise for the Lord. They had something like a few different samba lines that would dance past the offering box so that the congregation could discreetly slip in their offerings during the dance. The languages were a little bit of a problem as most of the people speak a native language of Fan (pronounced "fawn") and a few spoke french. So the service was already being translated between those two languages. Jean-Claude then also translated it into English for us and they had a special choir number and dance in yet another tribal language! The pastor was away this sunday but the elder who spoke had a very simple but challenging sermon about why, if we have already surrendered our lives to God, would we then continue to surrender ourselves to the works of the devil and the importance of God's word in fighting those temptations. Afterwards, though none of us spoke French, the children all came by to give us hugs and the pastors family shared coconut juice and meat with us to refresh their visitors before we started home. It was a very neat experience but exhausting as I had to concentrate so hard to follow all that was going on! Well, our evening service here on the ship is starting and I need to go. May the Lord's teaching reach your heart this week!

Aboard Ship

Picture a carnival cruise liner fitted with a hospital in one deck of it and that's pretty close to what it feels like to be on the Africa Mercy. It is very nice! It was originally a Dutch carrier for railway cars before it was obtained by Mercy Ships and fitted out for its current service. You can still see the rails for the loading and unloading of the railway cars in the patient waiting area of the ship. Though large, it hasn't been very complicated to find my way around. I do feel it rocking occasionally and at first, had to convince myself that, for once, it was not all in my head! However, it has actually been very calm and the ship relatively still. Being anchored in port, I have spent this afternoon watching the shipping coming and going. There are many long, narrow local fishing boats, pointed at both ends, that motor in and out of the bay. I'm always surprised that they don't tip over when pulling in their heavy nets. Since the ship is tied up to one of the outside arms of the port, from one side of the ship I can watch them drop off their nets then collect them again, often catching only a handful of fish. Then on the other side of the boat, as they come into port. they stop off our starboard (right) side, turn their motors off, strip down and pull out a jug of water to bathe before redressing in clean clothes to go into port and go home. It would be impolite to go into public dirty. One boat of fisherman saw a friend and I standing at the rails and were waving for us to come with them--motioning for us to dive overboard (down about 4 stories!) and swim over to them. We laughed and waved them off! I also see a variety of bed-sheet looking sails on some boats. A few grain cargo ships and a ship full of large metal crates are in port accross the way. I can also see a tug boat and pilot boat, which I'm told are used to guide the large ships into port. However, there were not many people seen around the docks today as it is a national holiday. Benin is celebrating it's Independence Day!

As for what it's like being here, the best description I've been able to come up with is this feeling of being suspended in mid-air. Even though I am in Africa, because I've only been here a few days, I have not yet had much contact with the people or the culture (other than the airport on the way in!). So there is that world, still largely unknown by me. Then there is the world on board ship where there are so many different cultures and people that it is a culture all its own, fascinating and overwhelming all at the same time. And both of these are so different from the world I come from that it intimidates me and yet is familiar in so many ways because humans are really not all that different from one another!

As for my accomodations, there are six berths (beds) in our room--two berths stacked like bunkbeds, two-sided wardrobe, fold out desk with a four-shelf rack mounted on the wall above that. Each berth has a small reading light and a larger, brighter overhead light. The chambers are side by side with a narrow hallway connecting them--the doorway of the last chamber at one end of the hall and room door at the other. Next to our chamber and the room door is a small bathroom--only about 2-3x's the size of an average RV bathroom. Since on all of my other missions trips I've always had cold showers or bucket-baths, I was very pleasantly surprised to realize I could take hot showers! Yay for little things! (Of course these accomodations are much different than the others I've stayed in.)

For the nurses...In the hospital, there are four wards with about 20 beds each, no curtains between patients, and sometimes family members sleeping under the bed. The paperwork is much simplified compared to what I am used to and so are the pre-op/post-op procedures. There are several operating suites, x-ray, CT scanner, lab, and pharmacy. There is also a three bed ICU, not often in use. For MMC ICU nurses... here's what's funny! We have low census here this weekend but we do actually have an ICU patient! Even though I'm hired as an ICU nurse, I'm actually only needed as a ward nurse most of the time. So it feels like home! ;0P

As for me, I've had a relaxing afternoon to explore the ship and just rest and read. I got caught up on most of the papers I was given when I came and read through a fascinating book called "Foreign to Familiar" by Sarah Lenier. She is a woman who travels all of the world and has lived in and studied a variety of cultures and found a few generalizations to make adjustment to a new culture a little easier. It was really interesting, and though I'm still thinking through a lot of what she said, it does make sense with what I've already experienced in other cultures. Very good read! And that's my book report today....

I'm looking forward to a national church service in the morning, so I'll tell you about that adventure tomarrow!